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Frank Vollmann: It’s all about the kiss

A dark and rainy Scandinavian night and it’s Halloween, special double feature gothic party on a boat in Helsinki harbor, perfectly set within a stormy Finnish autumn. The boat’s upper deck for EBM, lower deck for post-punkers, excessively adorned in fake spider webs, florescent plastic tarantulas and authentic squeaks of the old wooden boat. Special guests of the night – two electronic bands from Sweden and one something goth from Berlin (but who is American in fact).



I don’t know anymore if this interview was a good idea after all, or if anything good at all can come out of the Devil’s night? These were the most intense forty minutes of all the journalism I’ve ever done. I should’ve thought of that beforehand, but Frank, known in the gothic scene as the frontman of Frank the Baptist and now making his debut appearance on Finnish stage as Telegram Frank, was faster to speak first when suddenly he went: any unflattering photos of me and I am coming after you! I’ll fly to Finland, I will f-l-y to Hell-sin-ki all the way from …Berlin and I will find Y-O-U! Let me tell you a little something, sweetheart: any photos of me unflattering – I’m not very photogenic…

So do you care so much how you appear to the public, photos and all?
No I don’t actually. I don’t give a rat’s ass and I will tell you why. My appearance is to amuse me, because I’ll tell you this: my appearance is not my contribution to this planet. Ok? And those who think that their appearance is their contribution to this planet, are a bit of… you know? I care about looks, but not to the extent of how refined I am, not to ease other people’s lives, but as a timeline to myself of my own history. My physical appearance shows me the timeline… [laughs] of my stupidity! A scar here [points to the left of his upper lip], scar here [points to the right of his upper lip], another here [points to the corner of his left eye]…

You know the saying that scars make men more attractive?
If stupidity makes men more attractive, then yes I have the scars to prove it.

Do you want to say what happened?
How much time do we have?!

As much as you want to talk!
[sigh] I’ll tell you about the scars when you come to Berlin, ok? Right now we haven’t got enough time. I’m about to take another one of this [points to a shot glass full with Fisu]. This one is from an escalator and so is this one [points to his upper lip], and this one is from a fight in Jersey, this one is from a baseball bat [points to his eye], ok?! [laughs] My life has not been a charm.



What were those fights?!
This was in a backyard, I took a baseball in the eye. I was working in Jersey and I got in a fight with three guards. That was this one and this was lucky, I was very lucky to have gotten away with just this one. And this was from our gig in Warsaw, I took a header on an escalator and got one here and one here… It’s pretty caveman, it’s not very flattering. It’s not exactly cerebral to talk about it…

It depends, some people like to share their experiences…
I’m too educated to turn into a fucking thug for my fights, and all this bullshit, I’m a little too intelligent for that. It’s fucking stupid because I could’ve had avoided it. Any idiot can talk himself out of a fight but I have just a little too much passion, or whatever you want to call it, and I like to engage.

You don’t seem like an aggressive kind of person…
If I get tormented and put into a corner, I could be weak enough to be that guy, an angry guy. It’s an absolute 100% weakness. Being aggressive is fucking easy. What is hard is to control yourself and to maybe find a common ground, when you can actually think about this and find another way to figure this out. It’s just so fucking easy to be aggressive! I am embarrassed to say that sometimes I can’t control myself.

What’s your situation with alcohol?
Well, that’s me! [evil laughter]

What happens to you when you drink? Like some people become very talkative or courageous, feeling they can conquer the world…
I can conquer the world when I’m sober; when I drink I want to fight the world, I don’t care what for. If you give me a hard time – I’ll fight you: verbally, physically, whatever. When I’m sober you can’t beat me, when I drink – I want to dance and I want to love you. But if you’ll give me a hard time – I will fight you. I will fight wherever you are, here or anywhere, because I am a passionate person. And that is what I am addicted to, it is passion. I don’t give a fuck about drugs, or whatever, but it’s passion. There’s nothing in the world that I can’t handle when I’m sober, I don’t care about robbery, I don’t care about shit, when I’m sober – I can handle everything. When I’m drunk – I either dance and love you or I fucking fight. That’s how it is. Sorry that I’m taking so much time, I’m stupid…



Lust!
[long pause and a deep eye stare] I am completely focused on lust. I love everything from kissing, from licking a woman’s lips, to staring into her eyes, you name it…. Just wrapping my hand around her neck… I lust. From touching to holding hands, to planting a kiss on her lips, I have no fucking control! That’s all I am, a passionate, emotional guy. If I’m not that, then I’m nothing.

Sounds like a life’s motto!
[laughs] oh no! Don’t give this to anybody – nobody wants to go on my path. Nobody wants to live my path, NOOOO!!! That’s bad news. I’ve been in a jail a couple of times over this shit, you don’t want to know, you don’t want to be me. Nobody wants to be me, trust me.

Ok… and envy?
If you live a life like mine, you don’t really envy a lot of people. Sometimes I want to live a very steady life, somewhere in suburbia, I go to work, I come home, there’s nothing else to do, just hang out there with each other, me and the wife, boring lifestyle. Oh poor women… Those poor women whom I have in my life, they don’t get enough attention because there’s too much shit going on. But if I live that lifestyle, all I’ve to do is go home, pay a little attention to them, watch some tv and then we go to sleep. But no, that’s not going to happen any time soon.

Do you want this kind of lifestyle? Music can still be there…
Maybe I do. Here’s the thing: I want this family life, but I write music all the time and I’m just not that guy. I want to be that guy, but I’m not. I haven’t chosen anything, it just seems to be.

Greed?
I wish I had more, but I don’t. I don’t give rat’s ass, I just don’t…

What more do you want?!
I want to be able to support my family and my friends. I don’t give a fuck about money! But if I can support my family and my friends – that’s cool. I don’t give a rat’s ass otherwise. Everything I’ve been doing is just to satisfy what’s empty in me, it’s like I’m on a project. I’m a project manager. This is what I do, I start these projects, I think them off my visionary, I think them up and I get them done. If something comes out of it – fine. If not – ok. This is what I do. I’m not a greedy person, I wish I was. I really wish I was. Money comes through – cool. If not – I don’t care. I don’t need to change anything of what I’m doing, it’s all finding its way to me. And if they say, “hey it’s commercial” – fine.



And vanity?
I don’t think I have enough. I think I have some vanity… “so how do I look? Well…” and then I think, it’s fucking rock’n’roll, so who cares?! I don’t give a fuck how I look. My appearance is not my contribution to this planet.

What’s your contribution then?
You tell me. Now you’re on the spot, so you tell me: what’s my contribution to this planet? You’re interviewing me, why?! Do you know anything about what I was singing tonight? Be honest: nothing. So then you can’t tell me, you’re too late. You were supposed to tell me what’s my contribution to the planet, but you weren’t there. You were not there when I sung. You’ve no idea what makes me tick. You have no right to ask me these questions, because you weren’t there, you don’t know what makes me tick. Listen sweetheart, you don’t give a shit. You were not there!!! You don’t know my songs, you’re asking me these questions now hoping to catch a few good phrases for your article…

This is unjust!!! I am spending my time talking to you, which I could be spending on the dance-floor or with my friends…
…oh, me too!!!

But I thought you were an interesting and unusual person to talk to. Maybe your music is not exactly my kind of scene, but I am still interested in what I’ve heard and seen of you on stage, I thought this guy is worth getting to know better. But I’m not this kind of journalist who just wants to get some catchy words from you for a flashy headline, I am taking this work seriously and the media I represent is serious and respected, too! And with my “crappy” questions you can give some deeper answers…
…and I have been answering them for a while! And I’ve been entertaining you for quite a while, but let’s be honest with each other: you can’t just ask me and hope it goes fine, I say this and you say that, and it’s all easy-going. Look: you’re fucking with another human being’s life and I’ve been giving it to you. I’ve put my soul on a fucking plate for you, I have and you know this. There’s no disputing it.



Why are you angry at me?
I am not angry at you. [pause] And you have fine blue eyes. Are those natural?

Of course they are natural, but hey, you don’t take me serious now. Maybe I don’t know your band so well, but right now I am interested in you. I don’t want to do another “what’s this song – when’s the next record coming out” interview, the readers can read this off your MySpace.
I know, I know… You don’t know much about my band or my songs, I know, I get it, it’s ok…

What do you think is the meaning of life? You can take as long as you want, but this answer I need.
Unfortunately there’s a part of me that says that it’s this regurgitation. Everything comes through again and again and again, and it’s meaningless. But there’s a part of me that says: you’re given this, your generic cells, your bones, your whole self – what are you going to do with it? WHAT are YOU going to do with THIS? No one says this, no one thinks this, but you have it and so there you are. Something shocks you and you think “I’ve got to do something”, you have to edge or imprint on – I don’t know – life?! On the ground, on the planet – whatever! There’s a thread that runs through all of us, underlines it all, we’ve to figure out what to do with it. We can act like assholes, we can smash things, we can act like kids, or we can go into the depth of things, to the core and at the end, have something to show for it.

Do you believe in destiny?
I believe in passion. In destiny – not, but I wish I did. And you want to know why? Because it would mean that there are answers to all my questions.

What stops you from believing?
First of all it’s bullshit. Because I’ve been working some 30 odd years making it on my own, maybe I didn’t – maybe somebody else made my destiny. Maybe all the stupid shit that I’ve pulled is all somebody else’s design. But in my own time I’ve created some…

Are you happy?
[takes a long pause] I am not happy.



Why?
It’s… my thought process. If it would’ve been different, I wouldn’t be in hell. If only I could change that, my thought-process… I need to stop this [points at the tipsy people passing by, at the empty glasses on our table, at his clothes and make-up] for three or four months, I can do that. Then I will say: “this was ridiculous!” And what about you, Blue Eyes? What about your life? Are you happy? I can ask the same! Are you? Are you married? Do you have a boyfriend? Are you happy!?!?!!! Are kisses important to you?!? Let me tell you this: I can die a thousand deaths over the kiss from the right person. I’m weird like that. I used to work for the porn industry, for the adult film industry, had sex with this, that and the other – I don’t give a rat’s ass about sex. I don’t care. But the right kiss of the right person – that to me is worth a fight with a thousand men, the kiss of a right woman.

And then we got interrupted, as meanwhile the party had ended, the club was closing and the security asked us all to clear off the boat. So that was it, Mr Frank Vollmann on a plate… More about his works and music can be found at the links below, but the real Frank was just here, exclusively.

www.telegramfrank.com
www.frankthebaptist.com
www.myspace.com/telegramfrank
www.myspace.com/frankthebaptistmusic

Author: Marina Sidyakina, transl. Sandy Mahrer, photos: Anssi Salakka
Date: 2008-12-01

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