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April Fools Day! A festival that we would have enjoyed to be for real.. but perhaps this is still fun to read, even after April 1, 2009... For the first time the Hell Över Farö festival takes place near Fugloyar on the Faroese Islands. Besides numerous Faroese bands also two foreign top acts, 02002 Espoo and the oil platform band Kasoklasa, will rock their asses off here.
After a two-day journey from Copenhagen to Fugloyar we finally found it and are now in front of the festival´s fences. Unfortunately so late that we already missed the first day.
02002 Espoo Even though 02002 Espoo only play short extracts from their number 1 album the whole show takes four hours. The one-man project dug up a real band only for this performance, so there´s percussion, triangle and a musical saw which is played by a local 89-year old shepherd. Apart from the Faroese saw player the whole line-up changes every hour because no one could make it through the whole four hours. The telephone book is recited very creatively and even the traditional Faroese chain dance is incorporated into the performance. A very interesting, versatile show.
Santa Valpolicella This Black Metal band rocks the island and that, although they only formed last year on their pilgrimage to Santa Valpolicella. The lyrics are sung in old Latin, the singer is hereby accompanied by a children´s choir, dressed in fanciful racoon and panda costumes. The Christian lyrics about Jesus with his sandals, boozing disciples and the Virgin Mary inspire the attending onlookers to engage in booze and sex orgies like never seen before. Even the sheep of the 89-year old shepherd on the nearby meadow hump like there´s no tomorrow. Jesus Christ, does no one think about the poor, innocent racoons and pandas who shouldn´t see stuff like that…
The band from the oil platform - it´s their first performance outside of their own four masts. Several 10,000 visitors have arrived only to see this band today. Evgeny impresses the audience with his awe-inspiring throat-singing and with a song, dedicated to his mamutshka in Tatarstan. Watching guitarist Hallgerd in his über-tight tights you have to wonder if his/her bells and the attached rod, making the same chime, were already amputated of if he just used a lot of adhesive tape to make them disappear. Ouch, have fun taking it off again. Oh, and there´s this gracious dame, a Norwegian beauty. With her dazzlingly green dyed underarm and pubic hair, that shines through her white hot pants, she almost looks like some radioactive stuff. And drummer Håvard is probably the most evil and aggressive, he gives a rat´s arse about just anything and shouts all the time “Go home, you limp-dicks and boards with nipples”. In sheer ecstasy groupies throw their washed out and beat-up bras and yellowed, dirty thongs towards the stage. With 9000 visitors this made for an awfully big pile and the band has to dig themselves out before they can continue their gig. For the grande finale Kasoklasa perform a very special version of their top hit “Arschka”, a capalla with naked asses and farting.
An extraordinary festival that impressed with its special offerings. The selection of delicacies from traditional Faroese cuisine is huge and ranges from dried pilot whale meat over sheep brain to spirit-algae cocktails. It´s, however, not very recommendable because Faroese specialities are way too salty and tough. As show acts many ways of sheep shearing are on display and three times a day there´s a competition for catching and shearing sheep and the winner gets to keep the shorn wool. This contest is very popular with the Faroese visitors who right away knit themselves new pullovers of the won wool. The festival has found a great solution for the sanitary facilities and so many portaloos are available for the rather shy visitors, the festival paper serves here also as toilet paper. For everyone else there´s a booth with papers and shovels and you can take as much as you please, then just find a tree, dig a hole and do your thing. We are stoked and will recommend it.