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Here we have a Gibberish for you, which was unfortunately too short for the printed magazine, but we don´t want to keep this away from you...

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Many beautiful things in Finnland begin with „R“: ravintola (bar), raha (money) and rakkaus (love). And of course Reverend Bizarre and Rapture... for STALKER Albert Magus and Petri Eskelinen had their outing as love etc. etc. experts.

Albert: Petri, how does it feel to be so handsome?
Petri: Oh, it feels the best...

Albert: Did you have a lot of sex lately?
Petri: No, my girlfriend is in Holland right now, I´ve been without it for two months
Albert: Are you sure you don´t fancy a quick one?
Petri: Check out the muscle (shows his hand)
Albert: Check this hand!
Petri: Wow, that´s sweet, you have done a lot with this!
Albert: Yeah of course, I have to do it, because I am always sexual.
Petri: So...
Albert: Everything is sexual!! Like... homeless hobos, panties full of piss - it´s sexual. To sniff a hobo, lying alone, on a bench - it´s sexual. I feel aroused ... every time I see a hobo I wanna sniff his pants, (shouts) to sniff the dirt!!!
Petri: You get aroused often?
Albert: (shouts) Every day! When I see a boy, when I see a girl...
Petri: How many times per day do you jerk off?
Albert: At least three times
Petri: You guys play Doom, right? So do you jerk off slowly? Like Doom style?

(in the background a certain STALKER journalist can be heard laughing out loud...)

Albert:If you got pussy once in your lifetime you would know this...
Petri:I do get pussy once in a while...
Albert: When you fuck it´s slow...
Petri: Look, I just had some baaaad days...
Albert: ... and when you wanna jerk off it´s quick!
Petri: ... dry season, my girl is not here... So you are the doom-and-gloom band, so do you guys also laugh and smile and have fun?



Albert: When I´m among friends, people I like, really nice people like you, I always laugh. I remember Burt Reynolds saying „whenever you have sparetime, remember to laugh!“ The essence of Doom is not being gloomy all the time, it´s like playing from the soul - naked...
Petri: This-is-too-serious, this-is-too-serious, this-is-too-serious... you guys have any pets?

Albert: I have a bunny called Hermanni! He is my best friend. I like animals better in any other case, except sex. I always thought when David Bowie sings about (sings) „Making love with the sea-gull“ I always thought it´s „sea-gull“. And I was like „this is great, this is just what I wanna do.“ That was my first point to make Rock´n´Roll music.



(the STALKER journalist can be heard in the background rolling on the floor laughing)

Petri: Fucking seagulls?
Albert: Yeah, because they are flying.
Petri: That IS a good reason to start playing Rock´n´Roll music.





Author: Klaudia Weber
Date: 2006-11-27

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