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Well, such a festival would have been too cool to be real... have fun reading about it even after April 1, 2010:
The big success last year convinced the organizers to host HELL ÖVER FÄRÖ Festival on Faroe islands once again in Park Fugloyar, this time already on “Workers’ Day” May 1, 2010. STALKER will report exclusively, also as the main sheep-shearing official – in other words, taking care of the merchandize and autograph stand.
This year’s program even exceeds the brilliancy of last year. Before the festival a friendly match between the famous & feared Faroese soccer team and the even more feared North Faroese battle sheep. Sparks and mud will definitely fly! Rumour has it that David Beckham might be visiting, and provided that his wheelchair won’t get stuck in the soil, he might even be functioning as referee. We heard it on the grapevine that there was a secret deal involving BILLIONS just to ensure that his wife Victoria and her re-united Spice Girls will STAY AT HOME and definitely NOT perform a surprise show at the event...
But then the highlight – the Faroese killer-act Órættvorðin will be headliners of the first day, performing their symphonic creation for bagpipe and beer bottles – those will be used partly as wind- partly as rhythm instruments. Expectations are high, and we heard that they might even be bestowed with the Faroese Medal of Honour.
International guests will be e.g. the German Extreme Hate Metal band Muthafxxx that divide opinions not only in their home country regarding their poor and shabby performances – do they do it on purpose? Especially frontman Hans-Peter “shines” with his questionable stage show at which he, armed with a vegetabe knife, tries to spread fear and terror among the spectators. Another secretive new 1-man Black Metal Projekt is said to enter Faroese stages, as a top secret special guest: Macche-ato is the name of this project, using for vocal performances nothing but coffee machines, namely 10 semi-automatic Gastroshock 3000 Espresso machines. How exciting, as the audience is promised fresh Cappucino after the show. Finally as a special surprise, inspired by STALKERs April-features, four unemployed sheep shearers united to the Kasoklasa Tribute Band to premiere at the festival. How nice, because Kasoklasa retired for an undisclosed period from the music scene – according to the band’s press release they dislike the fact that the Metal scene became “way too commercial”.
A short interview with festival organizer Brunhilda Butterandsomedottsdottir:
Isn’t it a bit risky to have an open air festival in May, when the notorious Faroese rain- and storm season is at it’s peak?
No, because the natives are used to the climate, and our international guests will have a heated water-proof pavillon right in front of the stage. We, the organizers, find that those weather conditions are perfect – we don’t have to decide where to put shower cabins. The visitors receive some soap at the entrance – sheep milk soap of course – and instead of shovels we offer now c omfortable wooden planks right along the central moat, which is kept flooding by the permanent rain – a fully functional, 100% eco WC, so to say.
In other words, festival guests can do as the natives do and cater to call their personal hygiene needs in the open air. And we don’t have to think about the anti-alcoholic drink supplies – it’s more than enough work to keep the alcohol supply running. Faroese people drink like hell, and foreign guests are even worse, especially the Finns.... who wants to drink water just steps outside and opens the mouth – WIDE.
Our festival magazine will be printed on softer paper because of some complaints last year– yet everybody appreciated our idea to have the magazine usable also as toilet paper.
What’s the food situation – which specialities will be available?
Because of popular request, our local delis will be available once again, like boiled sheep head, Icelandic rotten fish and Siberian Kebab – where the animal has to be captured and slain by the customers themselves and is then eaten “tartare” style. Otherwise we offer fish-and-grill-yourself- services, and beer bottles are provided by the headliner. Who manages to empty them just about right to fit the pitch, may keep the bottle. Cappucino will be served by the Black Metal band – and we think this brand new concept that the artists offer the catering for the audience is absolutely revolutionary. The rest will be supplied by nature.
Which other attractions will be in the area?
I think that all those performers are attraction enough :P
That’s going to be an exciting event!!! There won’t be any tickets, as the festival motto is – who has come will be there!
Klaudia Weber, Kathleen Gransalke
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